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hey this is Leo for actualised org and in this video I want to talk about what is happiness hey welcome back and let's crack into this topic what is happiness happiness is something that I've covered in other videos in fact I've got a great video up there how to feel happy where you can take a look at the specific things that you can do in your life like changes that you can enact put into place that will actually generate real happiness for you versus the kind of happiness that you thought you would get or the things that you thought would make you happy but won't so that one's more of a practical video this video I'm going to give you some really deep understanding of what happiness is so this one goes deeper we're going at the core and in fact what we're gonna do is we're gonna say some things that are gonna undermine and undercut and really contradict some of the stuff that we talked about in the previous video and this is gonna take a little bit of of intellect on your part to work through some of these concepts because there are many layers to understanding happiness and actually getting it working in your life so let's crack into this alright what I really want to talk about here is I want to get some definitions straight because when we say happiness that can be such a generic term it loses it loses sight of anything real and it's kind of like the word love it tends to be so overused we say happiness we say love who the hell knows what these words mean anymore because of the willy-nilly way in which we use them well I've been studying the stuff a lot and I've been clarifying definitions in my own mind and I'm not saying that my definitions are the right ones but I'm saying that there are these concepts out there and whatever you choose to label them these are the concepts so I'm gonna go through them to get you a really good sense of what happiness really means because I'm sure that right now your understanding of what happiness is is drastically different from what it really should be and that is why you don't have happiness that is why you don't have fulfillment all right and this is why you're out there and you're looking for something more and you're wondering what more is there something must be missing what is missing and you're looking for that missing piece here is the missing piece and this is deep and this is not something that you will be told almost anywhere else so listen up and have an open mind about this because some of these ideas are very likely to shatter your ego and to really bruised up your ego because some of these things are not comfortable some of these truths are just not comfortable to come to adopt and understand so happiness let's make a distinction right now between happiness excitement all right happiness and excitement two very different things what you call happiness when we just say happiness in our common parlance what we're really talking about there is a form of excitement and we're gonna make this distinction between being happy as in just fulfilled and calm and peaceful and just having a very kind of a you might describe it as a very mellow very even-keeled state of mind and state of being just like calm peaceful imperturbable like you feel like everything is right you're in the moment that is more of the true definition of happiness that is not what we say when we talk in everyday terms in everyday terms when we talk about happiness usually what people mean is excitement so let me give you some examples here to make this concrete you're happy when you go have a nice meal at some expensive restaurant right you have that seafood or that lobster that steak makes you happy what is that that is that is stimulation that's titillation that you're getting that's a form of excitement there's nothing crazy I mean eating a nice steak is not some crazy form of excitement it's not like going on a roller coaster not you don't really get an adrenaline rushing through your veins but it's still a form of excitement and it makes you happy we would say right eating a nice steak makes you happy or whatever your favorite food is then having some nice sex right some amazing mind-blowing sex that tends to be a little bit more towards what we would consider excitement right really if it's mind-blowing sex and it's like orgasm is excitement it's crazy a lot of emotions you're filled with chemicals and hormones that is a form of excitement but you also say that that makes you happy right having great sex makes me happy how about going on that roller coaster you know obviously a form of excitement makes you happy if you like those kind of things going to amusement park ride makes you happy so this is what we generally would say happiness is and we tend to look for happiness in that way is we look for stuff that will stimulate and excite us right we want to get into a stimulating relationship we want to do stimulating things we want to be doing stimulating hobbies we want to be entertained in ever more stimulating ways we want more stimulating movies we want a more stimulating book exciting book something that's got drama to it right we we want stimulation at work we want to be working working on some exciting project we want stimulation with our friends we want to go out and do something fun maybe get drunk do little crazy some adventure we want stimulation and excitement in in our travel even when we go traveling we want to do something exotic right someone we want to go do something exotic we want to do something new unique something adventurous and exciting there and we tend to think that all of those things make us happy and we tend to think that well if we had just more of those and we had those things more consistently then we would be at a more consistent level of excitement and then we could just kind of instead of the mundane life that we're living we're gonna have this these peeks of excitement and we're gonna we're gonna kind of somehow lock those peaks in like if we had more money we would be able to lock that peak in and continue that excitement or if we were able to marry our dream partner then we would take that amazing sex and we would take that amazing spark that we have the beginning relationship we just like lock it in and then keep that going with the marriage so this is kind of the common sense intuitive notion of of happiness and the problem is that it just it doesn't work it's not real what is not happiness let's classify that and label it as excitement and excitement is there and it's definitely the case that our brain loves excitement it love variety likes to go out there and look for these sources of stimulation it's very convenient because it's an unconscious form of living so when you're engaged in all these things really you're behaving on in unconscious ways because you're just getting pleasure you're feeding off the pleasure it makes you feel so good that it basically acts like an addiction so you might think of doing drugs for example as a huge form of excitement right and if you do a hardcore drug like heroin that gives you a big rush of excitement but then also what you get when you do that is you get you get the highs but then with the highs come the inevitable lows and that's basically what's happening with your life is that you are going out there and you're seeking stimulation and not as destructive ways as heroin junkie but actually we might say in equally destructive ways because what you're doing is you might not be destroying your body in your brain quite as badly although many of you are with the food that you're eating but you are destroying the potential in the arc of your life the growth of your life you're destroying that by all this stimulation that you're plugged into from TV news to internet to movies to hang out with your friends - partying - drinking - even that job that you're really excited about all that stuff in a sense is is limiting you and the reason that is is because you're trying to get stimulation from it and that is different than real genuine happiness let me now talk about what genuine happiness is and now this is not something that I would talk about with a newbie who's just being introduced in personal development because I would say that if you're just getting started and right now your life feels pretty miserable and you having trouble paying the bills you have a trouble at work trouble in relationships you've got emotional wounds that need work if if you've got these problems you know work on those first rather than going after genuine happiness because genuine happiness is it's going to take you some time to really wrap your brain around get it working in your life genuine happiness is this it's a feeling of peace and calm and contentment so that means that you are content with whatever is happening in the moment you're not thinking about the future you're not thinking about the past you're not plugged in to any particular source of stimulation you're not watching the TV you're not doing this you're not doing that it's just you are happy right now just as you are you're just you're just content you're content your peaceful and nothing really is disturbing you and more so you're so at peace that you don't even imagine that anything could disturb you basically it's the elimination of any forms of suffering and you might say okay I mean that sounds that sounds nice I've had moments in my life where I just kind of felt you know just kind of nice but how can that compare with the excitement that I get when I go watch a blockbuster movie and it like blows my mind or when I read some amazing thrilling book or when I go and I go drinking with my friends we have a crazy kind of night night out on the town or we go shopping and it's so fun to go buy stuff and you know I get that new gadget I open it up it's like Christmas morning isn't that what we want that excitement rather than fulfillment here's the problem with that excitement paradigm really what's happening there is it's an egoic paradigm you're operating from your ego and what your ego is doing is that it is and this is a very apt metaphor that I'm going to use is that it's keeping you trapped like a mouse in a hamster wheel right going after a piece of cheese and so what you've got here is you've got the situation where you're going through life chasing after things thinking that external things will make you happy and they don't and you keep failing to find that and so you go and you find and you look for another source of stimulation thinking that that will be the answer and you go and you bounce from source of stimulation to source of stimulation hopefully improving the quality of the source of the stimulation so you might start off with hardcore drugs eventually realize that that's not doing it for you so you wean yourself off those you might just go to drinking and smoking then you might wean yourself off those because you see that that's not healthy then it's like you're watching TV and you're screwing around on the internet eventually maybe you'll realize that those aren't doing too much for you either and maybe you go and you find a good relationship you know what can be what can be wrong about a good relationship nothing really except that again you're looking for that relationship you're looking for stimulation from it and it's gonna fail to do that for you because let me tell you what you're really after see right now you're probably sitting there you're thinking well what you're talking about leo you're talking about this kind of a Buddhist Zen idea of happiness where you just kind of like calm content in the moment not really seeking anything not striving for anything first of all that's going to lead to a boring kind of life that's not exciting I don't want that kind of life but then you're also probably thinking that that's just that's not that's not what happiness really is here's what you got to understand and really ask yourself this the whole life that you've been living so far what has it been 20 years 30 years 40 50 60 years have you actually gotten what you wanted out of life have you actually gotten it you have it right now I mean you've chased many things you've been hamster in that wheel for your whole life have you gotten it have you gotten that cheese have you gotten what you were really after let me tell you what you were really after what you were really after is you were after that moment of peace that happens after the stimulation ends that's why you're pursuing that stimulation so let's say for example that a new movie comes out and you're really excited to go see that new movie what you're really gonna that moment in that whole arc of going to see the movie watching the movie coming out of the movie and then going back home the point where you're really happy and fulfilled he's at the end of it if you were so excited for something that you get it it's at the end of it that you get a little bit of it like a release like that was nice right like that was nice I've been waiting for that movie for months I saw it it was nice and now it's kind of like a little bit of a release and then notice yourself what's gonna happen is that maybe within a few minutes an hour maybe the next day it will vary what the period is gonna be but within a relatively short amount of time your brain is gonna say okay what's next what is next and it's going to look for the next source of stimulation because it's gonna happen so you're gonna start to feel empty inside it's gonna feel like okay I was stimulated by that movie and that was a nice nice experience nice two hours in the theater eating my popcorn sitting there with my with my friends laughing or or or crying or just enjoying it whatever like I want more of that so what you do is now when you're alone and by yourself and just kind of quiet you don't feel happy because you're you're kind of addicted to that original source of stimulation and so your brain says what's next what's next you're only gonna be happy for a short period of time until that your brain says next more stimulation more stimulation more stimulation another hit of heroin another hit of heroin another hit of heroin right that is exactly what is happening and what this does to your life is it creates this roller coaster this roller coaster that you have in life you right now think that well leo Roland I mean you can't be happy all the time I mean this is life in life you've got happy times you've got sad times and life is supposed to be like this their ups their downs everyone says their ups and downs okay this is the point where I come in and tell you that remember this was supposed to be an advanced video advanced ideas so this is not for the newbie for the newbie this is way in over your head you go watch the other videos where I tell you how to be happy right now by tweaking a couple of variables in your life this is for the advanced student a personal development okay here's what I'm gonna tell you is that that's actually not true that that roller coaster ride it's created by you and all the suffering in your life is created by you this is a this is a hard idea to get your head around and actually what you do is you do not ever get your head around it because your ego prevents you from doing that your ego will not allow you to understand this idea so really this is where enlightenment work comes in this is when you start to really research enlightenment and you start to experience it for yourself and you start to do the meditation the contemplation work that really takes to start to dissolve your ego what you do is you undertake this journey of working on yourself on very deep levels where you start dissolving your ego to the point where eventually your ego fades away and this excitement that you were after you no longer seek because you see that it doesn't make you truly fulfilled and you become as happy as humanly possible by yourself without needing any stimulation just because that is your natural state your natural state is a hundred percent peace and calm and fulfilment that is your natural state but you are so far removed from that because you've been so addicted to stimulation and your ego cannot even fathom anything else and it's so set on your survival and your reproduction that it's not going to allow you to do this it's not going to allow you to actually experience this in your life until you go through a rigorous process of dismantling your ego so that is real happiness it's happiness in the moment it's happiness by yourself and it's getting rid of that roller-coaster ride because every excitement that you're after that's the peak and that peak is necessitating a down sometimes you can mitigate those and sometimes you can get away with the peak and the down you can kind of minimize so the Downs not quite so much but still that roller coaster ride that is your life has been your life up to this point you've been creating that because you have an ego that is out there looking for sources of stimulation which Italy doesn't need and which ultimately never will fulfill you you're looking for a psychological fulfillment in the external world and it simply does not exist and what you are is you are literally a hamster in a wheel chasing after a piece of cheese and that piece of cheese is an illusion it does not exist therefore you will never be fulfilled he will never be truly happy you can be stimulated but you will never be truly happy in your life if you operate from this ago akka paradigm I'm calling this the yoke paradigm and this is a paradigm that you are operating on it's the paradigm that 99.999% of every human on this planet is operating on I'm still operating on it but I'm making roadway I'm making some changes right now to to start getting rid of that so this is a advanced advanced stuff and I'm gonna bring you more videos on enlightenment and how you can go about doing that process but to end on something that's very practical if you want to start experiencing this then here's how you can do it just a little idea for how you can do it first of all unplug yourself from as much stimulation as possible and start to meditate and I would even encourage you beyond just doing meditation I have videos on that do 20 minutes of meditation every day for the rest of your life I recommend you commit to that the second thing I recommend is that you do this exercise which is I want you to lock yourself in a room your bedroom your living room wherever where nobody can disturb you where there is no stimulation and I want you to set a timer an alarm clock whatever for two hours and I want you to sit in a chair comfortably for two hours without doing absolutely anything and I want you to watch what your mind does and I want you to watch what your body does you would literally start to have withdrawal symptoms so the same symptoms that a heroin addict will have when you take the heroin out right he doesn't get his heroin in for a few days for a week he starts getting sweats and chills and his body starts shaking his mind's going nuts that is what's gonna start to happen to you if you do this exercise and this is gonna be the first taste the first taste for you of starting to realize that there's something here because right now you you're of two minds you're like you're probably either thinking this is crazy this guy is wrong I'm already happy in my life I'm already fulfilled and I know that if I just get that one last missing piece that boyfriend or girlfriend that hit that that weight that I want at the gym or if I get that career or that car that I want that I'm gonna be fulfilled I just know I will be that might be you the other alternative here is that you're sitting there you're thinking you know what there's there's something here that is true I don't know if I totally buy into what he's talking about here it sounds a little bit far out but something here is true because what he's describing is describing the psychology of my entire life right this idea that I've been running around in a hamster wheel that's actually what I've been doing if I'm honest with myself I don't really want to admit it and I'm afraid of what that means for the direction of my life to admit that but if I'm really honest with myself I have to say you know that last boyfriend he didn't do it for me that car I got I mean it was it was nice but it kind of worked out the way that leo was talking about here like I got that car I had it for a few weeks and I feeling great and I felt really nice I felt like calm and at peace and then that piece went away and I totally forgot that I even had this car now I take it for granted and now I'm chasing after something else or the same thing with that promotion at work that I got last year I don't even I don't even feel it anymore I'm just at this new level and now I want something more and I'm still not fulfilled so if you do that exercise where you sit for two hours by yourself in that room that will further give you more evidence to start building this case and that's really what has to happen here is for you to actually start to even even get on the path towards true fulfillment in life is you have to start building a case because your ego does not want to accept this your ego wants you to keep doing what you've been doing and your ego wants to preserve itself it doesn't want to die and really you're putting it on a path towards killing that ego and your ego does not want to die your ego is you your ego thinks that you are important you are precious and that if if it were to die then your whole life would collapse that's what it wants you to think and it's really hard to get your around that and one of the ways to do it is to actually start to gather more evidence to build the case here and one of those is to actually just wash your mind do what it does watch your body do what it does when it's just by itself just watch it notice that isn't that that wrong isn't there something wrong there is there something wrong about how you've been living your life your whole life up to this point in time by being that hamster in the wheel it was okay but now you know better now you know that there's something more out there the question is are you gonna be bold enough to inquire into it any further all right this is Leo I'm signing off that's what happiness really is go ahead post me your comments like this share this I really want your comments because I look at the comments I read all of them and it gives me ideas for new videos to shoot I try to respond to the ones that I can so post some comments I love to really use it as feedback to help improve my videos and of course go ahead and check out actualised org where we've got a free newsletter that you can sign up to we've got some free amazing exclusive bonuses on 19 part video series about lust but busting your limiting beliefs and we've also got two hours of live coaching that I give away every week not week every month to my subscribers so go ahead and sign up for that for a chance to win and you'll just be getting more updates more information about how to really get fulfillment in your life I've got a lot more info coming to you specific on this topic of enlightenment work and really understand yourself on a very deep level understanding these concepts on much deeper level I also got just practical tips if you just wanted more stimulation and titillation in your life oh man that's that's even easier I mean this stuff is hard this enlightenment stuff this is hard the titillation stuff I give you tons of tips techniques how to create a super super exciting titillating life for you so don't miss out you